As this week progresses, I can feel my life changing. As we live side by side with Joseph and see and hear about his life and ministry, I feel my heart coming out of my chest. The heart I have always claimed was broken for children because we do children’s ministry, because we buy gifts for sick kids, and send money to someone if they need it. Now I’m asking, is that really a heart for kids?
As we ate dinner last night, we were asking Joseph questions about their meal times, you know normal questions like what do you guys eat. Boy were we in for a rude awakening.
His reply was, “We have one thing, like if today is rice day, we have it for lunch, which would be a bowl of rice with some sauce to pour over it so it will have a little flavor and then for dinner we eat it again. Then tomorrow will be corn day and we will have corn for lunch and again for dinner”. He then looked at our plates and said, “We would never have anything like this, we only have one thing to eat.”
Okay, I can’t remember the last time I had only one thing to eat for a whole day. This man has kids, what if I could only feed my kids rice or corn? He said sometimes if someone needs food, his wife will take his food and give it to them and he is very blessed when she does this. If all I ever had to eat was rice and corn would I be blessed if Dan gave it to someone else, I would love to say I would, but I’m not so sure. I seriously started to cry thinking about Mom’s who can’t feed their kids, thinking about how they must feel, how I would feel if I knew my kids were going to school or to bed without eating!!
We talked about the JOY these kids have even in these circumstances. The little girls who have only one skirt and they have to wear it everyday to school and they are so filled with JOY. I know there are times I’m not filled with JOY when I enter my closet to pick something to wear and I have lots of options, a full closet and I am still saying “I don’t have anything to wear!”
JOY is my motto, my theme, we must find JOY in life, it’s my battle cry but seriously would I be able to find any JOY in all that?
My oldest son asked how much it costs to feed his family for a month. We knew there is four in his family, but he said there is always someone staying with them so there is usually at least 6 people to feed in his house and it cost about 100 U.S. dollars to feed them all for a month. My chin hit the table, that’s like 55 cents a day per person. I buy a pop at our local Quik Trip all the time in the summer because they are 49 cents, I could feed one of them for a whole day for the cost of my extra drink!! How can that be. I know I hear, it’s different here, this is how things are here and they are used to how it is there, they don’t know the difference. But does that make it okay? Just because someone can justify the way we live, does that make it alright?
I don’t know what the Lord is doing, I don’t know how my family fits in all of it, I don’t know where we are to go from here, but I do know He is breaking the heart that I thought was already broken.
Counting it all Joy!!